I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
