it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
