So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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