I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
