I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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