fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
