OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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