I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
and you fell through a lawn chair
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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