I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Let's paint friendship bongs
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
