Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
