took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
my being single is dangerous.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
