just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My ass is underappreciated
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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