I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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