I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
A+ Viking dick
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
