Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I think I just sharted jello shots
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
