Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
