Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize