Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
