that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
