Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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