It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
