i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
