you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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