I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
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is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
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And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize