someone threw a dead crab at me
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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