Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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