Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
sex in a hospital.. check
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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