I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
