I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Enjoy the penises
Randomize