Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
