Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
this is an emotional support booty call
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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