Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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