Screwed.edu
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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