Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
