And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
