people are starting to question the shark bite story
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
