Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
