She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
