Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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