I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
