did you get engaged???
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
