it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
