lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Randomize
