so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
