can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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