i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
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Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
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yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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