Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
