she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
