Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
