I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.