i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?