YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....