therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
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