Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
