We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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