i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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